There are times when co-worker conflicts really are personal. In those cases, managers should prevent co-workers from tattling on each other. To combat that, interrupt the complainer and call the other person into your office to listen to both sides while both are present. It’s disarming and forces both workers to be truthful, says Maravelas.

Another tool for diffusing tension: validation. When a disgruntled employee comes to you because he or she didn’t get a promotion that was applied for, most manager say something to the effect of "Don’t feel bad, you’ll get another opportunity."

"But that’s exactly what not to say," says Ford. Instead, tell your employee that you understand he or she is disappointed. Then assure the person that you’re both going to figure out how he or she can achieve professional goals. Find out what the employee's needs are by asking, "What are your goals at the company, and how can we help you get there?"