“You want to ask the boss for his help in understanding the change,” she said.  “After that, stay positive by asking what you can do to maintain your performance in light of the current situation.”

Q:  What if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of a direct discussion?

A:  While it’s best to engage your boss in person, there are ways to express your concern discreetly or even confidentially, and that may be a wise move if you are concerned that your boss may react negatively or retaliate against you at work.  Mr. Baldoni, the consultant from Michigan, said it was perfectly acceptable for employees to take their documented observations and opinions directly to the boss’s boss, as long as they couch their opinions in broader terms of concern for the company’s performance.

“You’re not being a tattletale if you run up the ladder,” said Mr. Baldoni, author of “Great Motivation Secrets of Great Leaders” (McGraw Hill, 2005).  “Just as a team has the right to confront an underperforming team member, a team has the right to demand more from its manager, as well.”

In cases in which a boss has committed sexual or physical harassment, employees should report the incident immediately to the human resources department and, if necessary, seek assistance outside the company. 

Arthur H. Bell, professor of management communications at the McLaren School of Business at the University of San Francisco, said that such behavior violated Title 7 of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, a law that protects employees against hostile work environments of many kinds.

Q:  How should you respond if your boss asks you for help?

A:  Always lend an ear, but if your boss opens up about personal problems, be careful to keep the interaction professional.  Ms. Maravelas, 'the consultant from Minnesota, said that it was best to refer your boss to an outside specialist or an employee assistance program, if your company has one.  “Don’t feel forced to take it upon yourself to fix your boss’s problems,” Ms. Maravelas said.  “At a time of tension or stress, simply showing a thread of warmth and compassion can go a long, long way.”

© New York Times, 2005